A bit of dwarf-ishness: Bilbo's Contract

So, I'm  a little late getting this posted (it's been up on theonering.net for a while now) but it's pretty cool, so I thought I'd better put it up anyways.

Using some high-res images of Bilbo holding the contract from Thorin & Co, DarkJackal managed to decipher some of the test of the contract. You can read more about the process over on his blog, Heirs of Durin. And even if you don't want to read the whole process, you should head over anyway 'cause there's some cool content over there.

To keep this post shorter, I'll just put down the finished "translation" that DarkJackal came up with. Note that he's divided the contract up into lettered sections that correspond to the pictures you can see to the right.

The Contract as set forth by Thorin & Co.


Part A
(?) agreement or undertaking….
and witnessed below as set forth hereunder:
[very fine print]
I, the undersigned, [referred to hereinafter as Burglar] agree to travel
to the Lonely Mountain, path to be determined by Thorin Oakenshield, who
has a right to alter the course of the journey at his so choosing, without prior
notification and/or liability for accident or injury incurred.

Part B
The aforementioned journey and subsequent extraction from the Lonely
Mountain of any and all goods, valuables, and chattels [which activities are described
collectively herein as the Adventure] shall proceed in a timely manner and with all due
care and consideration as seen fit by said Thorin Oakenshield and companions,
numbering thirteen, more or less, to wit, the Company.

Part C
Burglar holds harmless and without blame in perpetuity the Company
and its successors for…………………………….or……………………………….

Part C – Bonus section
Funeral expenses to be defrayed by us or our representatives
if occasion arises, and the matter is not otherwise arranged for.

Part D
Burglar shall choose………………………………………
……………………………………………………Company’s
………………….successful……..of……………………….
squatter in said home shall not necessarily earn any additional monetary or fiscal
reward, but will definitely guarantee Burglar (if he survives) and Burglar’s family
the undying gratitude and promise of service (?) (?) and forever of the
Company and its successors.

Part E
Eviction or elimination of any undesirable guardian of Company’s
property, goods, or premises or holdings, shall take priority over the recovery of
said property, goods, premises or holdings, should such (?) be encountered.
Elimination shall take priority over eviction in any and all cases.

Part F
Burglar hereby accepts……………………………
…………………………………………………………….
…………………………………………………………….

Part G
Meals provided (or not) at the sole discretion of the Director,
with due respect for availability, season, or any special dietary
requirements not disclosed at the outset.

Part H
The Principles agreeing to this contract, namely the Company, [as
represented by Thorin Oakenshield] and the Burglar, and known collectively
henceforth as the Parties, shall signify their agreement to all clauses
contained herein [the Conditions of Employment] by signing or making their
marks in the spaces provided for so doing, and affixing seals if applicable.
The (?) to the Contract………………………..whose (?) marks or seals
…………………………..and before their understanding and endorsed
agreement to all that is contained herein.

Part I
Confidentiality is of utmost importance and must be strictly
maintained at all times. During the course of his employment with the Company,
Burglar will hear, see, learn, apprehend, comprehend, and in short, gain knowledge
of particular facts, ideas, plans, strategies, theories, geography, cartography,
iconography, (?), tactics and/or policies, whether actual, tangible, conceptual,
historical or fanciful. Burglar understands and agrees to maintain this knowledge
in utmost secrecy and confidentiality and to neither divulge nor make known
said knowledge by any means, including but not limited to speech, writing
demonstration, re-enactment, mime, or storage and retrieval within means
or apparatus currently known or unknown, or as yet unthought of.

Part J
Early termination of this Contract shall (?) (?) early termination
fee to be determined by Thorin and Company at their sole and absolute
discretion. All clauses contained herein shall survive such termination and
remain enforceable in all countries whether existent now or in the future,
throughout the known world.

Part K
Disputes arising between the Contract Parties shall be heard…

Part L
This agreement constitutes the entire agreement between the parties, and replaces
and supersedes all prior understandings and agreements whether written or oral, with
respect to the subject matter described and set forth herein.
Except as is set forth in the key provisions, Burglar [page bends]
permit or allow any distribution of the recovered goods of any kind whatsoever(?) without the
Company’s written permission, which may be granted [or not] at the Company’s sole discretion.






4 comments:

  1. I know, right? Every time I start to worry that I'm spending a little too much time reading LOTR, something on the internet convinces me I could be worse.

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  2. "Could be worse" eh? Is that what I've convinced you of? Well *huff*! :-)

    If you haven't noticed, I am waving a certain dwarf map in your face right now! For one nerd it's a fake contract, for another it's an infographic map!

    Oh, and thank you for the comments and for spreading this around!

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    Replies
    1. Haha . . . ok, you caught me red handed. I'd bet I spent more time on that map then you did on the translation . . . and have less to show for it :)

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